We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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