I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
