I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
