My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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