? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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