porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
