Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
