he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
