Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
