He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
