You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
