I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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