i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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