Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
