Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
There's always time for handjobs
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
