sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
love makes seman taste better
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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