if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
