i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
