just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
