its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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