that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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