My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
