im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
