Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
