I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
