Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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