and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
