does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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