She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Can I color on your dick again?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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