Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
