it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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