he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
