Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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