Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
