I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
