I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
