If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
