just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I think your dad took our porno
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
i now understand why vodka
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
