There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
