I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
