i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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