Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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