Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
