Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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