Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
