how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
