My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
