Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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