this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
