I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize