i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
