he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
