I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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