Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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