Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
