Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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