I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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