I heard we made out
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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