But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
