2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
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