glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
third nipple confirmed
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
