he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
