The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
It all started with a game of naked twister.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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